Love is Not Arrogant

...love is not...arrogant or rude. (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)

According to Merriam-Webster Online, to be arrogant is to "exaggerate one's own worth or importance." There are many ways this can play out. We may convionce ourselves that what we're doing is more important than what our children want us to do. We may assume our way of doing something is the way others should do it.

Sometimes we practice a form of cultural arrogance. A lot of Americans are guilty of this. There's nothing wrong with patriotism to a certain extent, but some of us think that the American way is always the right way. It seems to me that many Americans don't even realize that there are other approaches to living out there.

There is also a cultural arrogance that is sometimes practiced by Christians. I'm reminded of a story related in A New Kind of Christian by Brian McLaren. Dan is a pastor struggling to understand Christianity from a new perspective. He and his new friend Neo are talking about the issue of culture and Dan talks about a group of Native American pastors who stayed with him once. He had asked them if they use any Native American culture in their church services and they said that they didnt. "The missionaries had told them it was all of the devil, that sort of thing." (76) But then one of the men made a confession:

"Actually, I do still go to 'the sweats.' and for me it is part of my worship....I tale off my clothes—which is like getting honest before God. Then I go down into the sweat, which is like going down deep into my heart. I am there, naked, with all my brothers, which is a reminder that I am part of a community and I can have no pride or pretense in front of them. Then we pour water on hot rocks over a fire, and the rocks make steam. This is like prayer, and as I pour the water, I confess my sins to God. The more I confess, the hotter it gets, and the hotter it gets, the more I sweat. The sweat is like purification." (76)

Dan goes on to say that one of the other pastors responded with concern. "It sounded to him like syncretism, like adulterating pure Christianity with pagan elements." (76) But then this second Native American pastor breaks down crying and says the following:

I'm sorry...That wasn't me speaking. That was my seminary speaking through me. Please forgive me. I really think that what you just said about the sweats was beautiful. (76)

I like what Neo says to Dan later on in their conversation: "Well, syncretism is usually what Christians who are thoroughly immersed in one culture talk about when Christianity is being influenced by other cultures." (78)

I don't know if Dan's account of the Native American pastors is based on a real life situation, but I'm sure lots of Christians struggle with this issue of syncretism. I find it ironic that our "version" of Christianity is so westernized and yet Jesus was from the "East." We argue about what kind of music is appropriate, for example, and I can't help thinking that many American Christians would be totally turned off if they could hear the kind of music the early church made. I wonder how much we are missing out on by shunning Eastern philosophy. I think that if we could get past the knee-jerk reaction against other cultural expressions of spirituality, we might be able to learn quite a bit.

Arrogance not only keeps us from loving others, it prevents us from allowing others to love us. It is rude to reject the love of another. This could be as simple as being too distracted to linger in a hug (something I'm often guilty of). Love means looking outside of ourselves and viewing others with the loving perspective God calls us to.

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Links to the rest if this series: Love is a Commandment, Love is the Purpose, Love is Not a Merit Badge, Love is Patient, Love is Kind, Love is Not Envious, Love is Not Arrogant, Love is Not Always Right, Love is Not Irritable, Love is Not Resentful, Love Loves Truth, Love Bears All Things, Love Believes All Things, Love Always Hopes

Comments

[r]

Another translation has "pride" instead of arrogance. Which is I think is a very dangerous attribute. In fact we are warned in proverbs that pride comes before a fall, I have known this in my own life, the minute I am thimking to highly of myself, somethimg will happen to remind me that I am just a servant in the service of the King.

[deborah]

We could learn so much from so many cultures. I really like the idea behind most Navajo religious rites: they don't seek to change their evironment or situation, they try to bring themselves into harmony (horzo) with what is going on. When applying the concept of horzo to our prayer lives do we pray for God to change our situtation or to help us be okay with out situation?

It bothers me that there are Christians out there who have a problem with the story of sweating.

Another thing that I have always had a question about was the slide shows that missionaries show. When they first arrive at the tropical mission field, the photos all show nearly naked people. After a few years and what are described as "many converts", the photos show the same people wearing western-style pants and button down shirts. I'm reminded of God's question in the garden: "Who told you that you were naked?"

[Bill]

Hopefully there is less of that kind of cultural imperialism going on in missions work today. I think the question of culture is still a confusing one to many Christians, though (including me).

I like your example of "horzo."

[ken]

I think that that is part of the reason that other countrys come to hate America. Our society is convinced it is the one and only way to do things (religious and secular). Any other way is 'primitive'. We try to force our biases and perspectives on cultures that are not comparable or compatible. This is not to say that we should compromise our basic beliefs, but we do need to be sensitive to our audience.

[r]

As a child of a missionary I can tell you that it was my experience that missionaries did'nt tell the national people to dress like the west, they wanted to themselves. And there were plenty of nationals who chose not to dress like the west, what happens is that thier country begins to progress in areas like having TV or radio and they begin to see/hear how the rest of the world is. It has nothing to do with missionaries. I believe that other countries hate us for the freedoms that we enjoy, trust me I have lived in a country were they are not free like we are, I remember having to register with the local police every year, and how the nationals did not have the right to vote like we do in this country, they may say that the people vote but I can tell you from living there that it is not true. When you have lived in a country like Indonesia, your world view is very much differant then what the media in this country try to portray and they get away with it because most people have not been or would never go to see for themselves what the truth is.
Also most missionaries abide by the national customs because if you don't you would not be able to have a relationship with them, how can you minister to people if you steam roll over thier way of life, it just does'nt happen that way.
I am sorry that I sound defensive of missionaries but I have to be because I know what it is to live in another culture and to see how missionarie really work.

[Bill]

Thanks for that input, r. I think it was probably earlier in history that a lot of missionaries came in to places wanting to "civilize" the natives. You're right, though, there are lots of missionaries who work hard at assimilating out of love for the people, their culture, and for God.

Actually, it seems like a lot of missionaries seem to be more "progressive" Christians than those who stay in one culture. Perhaps this is because they are stretched by their exposure to other cultures.

[ken]

So, the reason other countrys hate us is out of jealousy?! That would have fit in with our last discussion. :0)

I am glad to hear that missionaries are not perpetuating this mentality. I am sure that there are many benchwarmers (church goers) who are glad that they have become 'civilized' though.

I do think that as a society we look down our noses at other 'lesser' nations and this arrogance gets us in trouble.

r, you don't sound defensive, just providing an insider's perspective on that aspect of the discussion. (always appreciated)

[Jennie]

I think about this in a more personal sense when I read it...
In my relationships with family, friends, etc., I try to remind myself that despite the fact that I would always love to be right (and often am ;o) - it's my pride that keeps me arguing, pushing, insisting.
I often reflect on this verse when I'm in arguments - (I'm glad I learned it young!) - and am very humbled by it.

[deborah]

Thanks Bill (on the horzo thing). I took a class on comparative religions and we covered a number of them and some cults. One of the requirements was that we had to find at least 1 thing that each religion/cult did right. There would have to be something positive that people were getting out of each one in order for them to be drawn there.

It would be arrogant of us to say that we couldn't learn from other faith systems.

[Mark H]

Great post! Are your Trackbacks working?

http://www.madetopraisehim.com/item/552

[Bill]

Sorry about that, Mark. Apparently I have to approve trackbacks. I thought maybe I had switched something in my options, but I don't see it.

In any case, thanks for the link!

[Mark H]

This entire series on love is sooooo good.

:-D