Celibacy

Celibacy...now there's an ugly word! Today, Father Daniel Homan has given me some new insight into this concept. He writes:

"Religious celibates have given up the physical expression of sexuality, but we don't give up love. We are loved by and love many people. We are fully sexual human beings who are called to use our sexuality in life-giving ways." (Benedict's Way by Lonni Collins Pratt & Father Daniel Homan, p. 60)

He goes on to point out that celibates aren't the only ones who have to control their sexuality. Everyone is supposed to. It's not supposed to be a free for all. I am married to a wonderful woman named Valerie and other than having sex with her, I'm supposed to be celibate.

I just looked up the word "chaste" in my Merriam Webster and it kind of disappointed me. The first definition is "innocent of unlawful sexual intercourse." Okay, fine. But the fourth definition says "severe or simple in design."

Why would we have to relate the words severe or simple with the word chaste? Is it simpler to sleep with one woman or twenty-five? Is it really a harsh, severe choice one makes when they desire to keep their marriage bed sacred? It seems to me that the real severity lies in hopping from person to person, trying to find what no person except Jesus will ever give us—true fulfillment.

"Celibacy allows the sexual impulse to be channeled into self-giving love. So does marriage."

This is a great way to look at marriage. We are to give ourselves to a person, body and soul. This is a part of the "life to the full" Jesus talked about. I must admit, I still have my doubts about "religious celibacy," as the author calls it, but I appreciate his insight into the purpose of such a vow.

Comments

[ragamuffin diva]

I think we could all benefit, married or no, by using our sexuality in life giving ways. In addition, there is that tricky "mystery" that sexuality is the door to, and the mystery belongs to all of us, but how many of us truly enter in? Thanks for this post, Bill.

[ragamuffin diva]

I think we could all benefit, married or no, by using our sexuality in life giving ways. In addition, there is that tricky "mystery" that sexuality is the door to, and the mystery belongs to all of us, but how many of us truly enter in? Thanks for this post, Bill.